Suffering from Israelitis

I've been suffering from a bit of Israelitis the last while...

WHAT may you ask is that?!?!
Well think back to them israelites...aka God's chosen people...
He loved them like crazy (as He loves us ALL...even crazy Warren).
And they followed Him....

for a while...

But then, they started relying on themselves or even "other (small g) gods".
They would wander away from God. Then calamity would strike and they'd be back like a flash.

So things in life were idling along pretty smoothly most of last year...
with a little speed bump here and there... I had a reasonably stable job,
not TOO far from home...but it got boring, it became less and challenging and I began to feel "unfulfilled" there. So this job offer came along near the end of the year. They told me all cool stories about the company and such.
Sounded like an awesome opportunity and new challenges.
I prayed like crazy...
Said "God if this is from You, open the doors or close them if it isn't."...
So...It took them three months to give me an offer after the interview...
in that time I had gotten an increase...They phoned me back...I told them about the increase...they offered me the same as what I was earning, with a salary review after 3 months...the doors opened...I went for it, figured new challenges would be good and my savings would last me the three months...they did, but the company closed down and reopened under a new name...so no salary review... Things are not as cool as I thought they would be. (in short)...

So with the extra stress, travelling and cr@p that came with the change...
stuff started falling apart... spent less time with God... and less...
until a once a week quiet time was like WOW. Things were not going well in the land of Warren. My mom would periodically ask me what's wrong, my friends were worried (I have awesome godly friends). But of course... Warren, suffering from a touch of pride or in denial, would say "I got dis"...but he didn't have it did he folks. I go to a point where I was questioning the reason for my existence.

The good news is...I got to a point were I was depressed to the point of not wanting
to be an existing life form anymore...also known as "suicidal"...
But fortunately I know Jesus and I know He doesn't want that for my life. Also I couldn't do that to my family...after two previous suicides in our family
(within the last year and a half) it would not be cool and I love my family too much for that.

Driving home one night...from church or a church event of some sort...
I was like "God I've had enough, I don't want to be here ANYMORE...
either wipe me off the planet RIGHT now or help me..."...

So He did.

No I am not writing from beyond the grave.

He helped me.
Somehow.
I can't explain it...
But the next morning I woke up with an incredible sense of peace...

Life is WAAAAY better...I managed to realise I was suffering from Israelitis and went the THE Doctor Himself...
Spending more time with God lately...

So...moral of the story...try not catch Israelitis...but if you do...go to the DOCTOR!

Now I am on the road to recovery...Luckily...VERY luckily...during my time of having Israelitis, I still read my little youversion daily reading, some verse a day thing I get mailed to me...I kept going to church...so although I wasn't getting as much of God as I normally do, I had enough to just just keep me going...I am back up to spending time with God every day and having a quiet time, read, pray, journal almost every day again...